


Sing All Your Secrets

by sanvitheartificer



Series: Relocation [2]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Amnesia, Family Feels, Gen, Human Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Important Conversations, M/M, Minor appearances from Monogram & Carl, Reveal, and her determination to keep her family safe and happy, candace wrecks monograms shop, more than one reveal actually ;), no matter what they think about it, this one is really about candace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25343344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanvitheartificer/pseuds/sanvitheartificer
Summary: Perry leaves, and takes the memory of his presence with him.Luckily for him, if there's anything Candace has learned in her busting career, it's how to bring someone home.
Relationships: Candace Flynn & Perry the Platypus, Ferb Fletcher & Perry the Platypus, Flynn-Fletcher Family, Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Phineas Flynn & Ferb Fletcher, Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus, Lawrence Flynn-Fletcher & Candace Flynn, Phineas Flynn & Perry the Platypus
Series: Relocation [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759360
Comments: 53
Kudos: 195





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm back with the sequel, finally!
> 
> I still haven't completely finished this fic (I'm so slooooooow), but I got through one of the pivotal scenes this week, and I'm really excited to show y'all that. Plus the first five chapters are pretty much done (out of. probably 10? might be more but at _least_ ten), so hopefully that gives me enough time to finish smoothly. May end up editing this one a bit more than the previous work as it goes up, but, yeah, here we go!

On a normal afternoon in late February, Candace Gertrude Flynn walked past a normal room in her normal house, and did a double take.

She stared at the open door. “Waaaaait a second. Has that been here this whole time?” Her eyes narrowed. “Busting sense... tingling,” she said, and marched over the threshold.

It looked like a guest room, but the walls were a teal color and the sheets were bright orange, which was kinda weird for a guest room. Also, didn't they have another guest room? Who needed two guest rooms?

She poked at a pillow. Nothing happened. She went over to the desk – and wasn't it also kind of weird to have a really nice desk like this in a guest bedroom? This thing looked way fancier than the one in the office – and opened all the drawers. Nothing, nothing, nothing, and – hold on.

It was a little scrap of paper, and it just read,

“ _Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Linda, Lawrence,_

_I'm sorry._

– _P._ ”

Candace's brow wrinkled. Huh. Did someone stay here and, what, leave the place really messy when they left?

“Phineaaaas! Ferrrrrrb! Did you build another room in our house?”

“No, why?” Phineas said, from directly behind her.

Candace yelped and threw the paper in the air. Ferb snagged it, and the two studied the strange note.

“You know, now that you mention it, Candace, I'm not sure Ferb and I remember this room either.” Phineas said.

“Although it's not that unusual to have two guest rooms, Candace. What if you have two guests?” Ferb said.

Candace ignored this criticism. “Whatever! Can you build it or not?”

“Build... what?” Phineas said, quirking an eyebrow.

Candace waved her arms. “A- a – a doohickey that shows whoever was in this room last, or something, I don't know! Aren't you supposed to be the ideas guy?”

Phineas lit up. “Candace, that's a great idea! Ferb, Candace, I know what we're going to do this afternoon!”

* * *

One musical montage later, Ferb was holding a small device that looked like a receipt gun. He scanned the room, and halfway through the scan, the red laser illuminated a tall, lanky man in a black turtleneck and a fedora, crawling out of a small hidden passageway by the foot of the bed.

The man looked around the room briefly, and then started tinkering with the panel he'd just crawled through. Then the light switch. Then the entire bed flipped over.

"Woah," Phineas breathed.

He walked over to the door, and Candace, Phineas, and Ferb followed.

Twelve weird passageways later, the doorways had ceased to be interesting. “Can't you put it in fast-forward, or something?” Candace said, as a laser version of a potted plant revealed yet another tunnel. Ferb pressed a button on the remote, and suddenly the man was moving twice as fast. At this rate their floor had to be more 'secret passageway' than actual _floor_.

They followed the man through the hallways, kitchen, even the backyard, and finally ended up back in the strange teal and orange room. The laser man knelt to mess with an electrical outlet, and toppled over into yet another hidden entrance, arms pinwheeling madly. The receipt gun beeped.

Phineas winced. “Ooooh,” he said.

Candace walked over to the first entrance, and rammed her shoulder into it. “Ow!” They must've filled it with concrete or something, but there were plenty of entrances to look through. She pushed gingerly on the lamp. Nothing. The electrical socket shocked her. “ _Ow!_ ”

“Are you alright, Candace?” Phineas asked, walking over to her. “It seems like they closed all the hidden passageways.”

Candace glared at him. “Really, Phineas? _That's_ your takeaway? A strange man was in our _house!_ We have to figure out where all those tunnels went, and who that man was, and why none of us remember this room, and just what _exactly_ is going on here!” Candace's voice got progressively louder as she got to her feet.

She snatched the device out of Ferb's hands. “But first, we've got to tell Mom. Moooooooom!”

* * *

Linda heard the familiar yell, and sighed. At this point, she'd learned it was usually fastest to just roll with whatever Candace wanted to “show” her this time. At least it was every week now that school had started, rather than every single day. “What, honey?”

“There's this room in our house that Phineas and Ferb and I haven't ever seen before and Phineas and Ferb built a scanner and there's this weird _guy_ who was messing with all these secret passageways and – _ow!_ ”

Candace picked herself up, groaning. “Who left a Ducky Momo themed skateboard right in front of the kitchen table?”

“You alright, honey?” Linda said, diplomatically not commenting. _Teenagers_.

“Yeah, I'm fine, as I was saying you have to come upstairs _right no_ _w!_ ” Candace sprinted up the stairs.

Linda was only a few feet down the hallway when Candace came rocketing back down and grabbed some device from the clutter Eunice had left on the kitchen table this morning. Her oldest son was starting a new job and had had a rough first day, poor thing.

Linda reached the second guest bedroom, and immediately, Candace ran over to the foot of the bed and scanned the wall with a receipt scanner.

It beeped. Nothing else happened.

“Candace, lovely as that wall is, I don't think it's for sale,” Linda said.

“B-b-b-b-but,” Candace said, gesturing with the receipt scanner, “It was! Phineas! What did you guys _do_ _?_ ”

“It's okay, Candace. We'll work on it next Saturday!” Phineas said cheerfully.

Candace looked at her other brother, still gaping. Ferb shrugged. “Don't look at me. Honestly, I'm just as baffled as you are.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phineas, Ferb, and Candace track down a home invader and ask some questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for being patient! Last week sucked and I didn't have a chance to work on this, but today I finally got a chance to do some writing, and I think this story's pretty much done! Well, okay, that's sort of not true; I'm just considering whether to make the final arc of this series yet _another_ different story. But I still finished writing two chapters today so whatever, progress is progress!
> 
> I'm also posting some meta about the story this week; read it if you like!

“Mom! Dad! I'm taking Phineas and Ferb to the store to get, uh, supplies! Can I take the car?”

“Okay, Candace, if you promise to drive safe! Use seat belts!” Linda said, rolling her eyes a little at Lawrence. Kids were adorable. Lawrence's birthday was in a week; who did they think they were kidding?

Lawrence chuckled and held a finger to his lips.

* * *

Candace breathed a sigh of relief. They'd bought it. Her parents were lucky they had at least one good kid, because they were waaaay too credulous.

...And _she_ needed to spend less time with her little brothers, if she was actually thinking words like 'credulous'.

“Let's get moving, people!” Candace said, ushering her brothers into the car. “We've got a weird home intruder to interrogate and only a few hours to do it! Chop chop!”

* * *

“You're sure this is the place?” Candace said, eying the purple walls skeptically. “I guess that guy _did_ look kind of like Vanessa's dad, but he wasn't wearing a lab coat. And no one's answering the door.”

Phineas nodded. “Yep! We did a scan of the whole Tri-State Area and this is definitely the right place! I'm pretty sure he's home, too.”

At this, Candace rang the bell seven more times in a row.

“Geez, I'm _coming_ , okay? See, this is why I built that _salesperson-away-inator_...” A high-pitched voice grumbled.

The door swung open, and Vanessa's dad wrinkled his brow. “Who are _you_? Oh, are you some of Vanessa's little _friends_? She's away at her mother’s house this weekend, but I can give you some apple juice for the road. I'm busy right now, so – ”

“Actually, we're here to see you!” Phineas said.

 _Finally_ , a chance to get some answers. Candace rattled off, “Why were you in our house? And where did all those secret passageways go? Why did you close them? _How_ did you close them? And what's with the fedora, anyway? Didn't you used to wear a lab coat?”

“No! No, nein, nope, negative, _definitely not_. That is _top secret_ , little miss, and I shouldn't even be telling you that much!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz looked like he was about to slam the door in her face, but Candace hadn't gotten this far to be turned away. She stuck her foot in the frame.

“We're not leaving till you answer our questions. It's our house and we have a right to know!”

Doofenshmirtz started nudging Candace's foot out of the doorway. “This is _my_ house, and you have a right to go away!”

Candace was about to object again, but she was interrupted. “Please – ”

Candace turned to Ferb, eyes wide, and even Doofenshmirtz shut up. Ferb didn't speak that often to begin with, and he _especially_ didn't speak directly to adults he'd never met before, but she had almost never heard this much raw emotion in his voice.

“Ever since Candace pointed it out last Tuesday, I've felt like something was missing. You obviously know what it is, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and all we're asking for is an explanation.”

Phineas grabbed his brother's hand. Ferb reached back and squeezed.

Doofenshmirtz sagged against the doorway. “Geez, kid,” he said.

Candace waited with baited breath.

“Doonkleberries. I can't exactly turn you away after _that_ , I mean, are you _trying_ to play on my fragile emotional state? Because if so, _good job_ , you could be a _politician_ or something _._ ”

“So does this mean – ” Phineas said.

Doofenshmirtz sighed and swung the door open. “Yeah, yeah, come in. But don't say I didn't _warn_ you; we'll all be in a _lot_ of trouble if my bosses find out you contacted me. A-and you'll need to come back in a day or two, I'll have to assemble some kind of _Anti-amnesia-inator_ in my spare time.”

Phineas perked up. “Oh, Ferb and I can help with that! Do you have any spare parts?”

“I mean, _sure_ , kid, but I don't see how two, what, _ten_ -year-olds are gonna speed things up – ”

* * *

Forty minutes later, Doofenshmirtz looked up at the fully-assembled Anti-amnesia-inator. “Huh. I stand corrected. Alright, let's fire this baby up!”

“Wait, are we firing that thing at _us?_ ” Candace squeaked.

“Well, _yeah._ Trust me, it'll aaall make sense in a few minutes,” Doofenshmirtz said, swinging the giant machine to face directly at them before Candace could object.

The maw of the machine flared with green light, and Candace _remembered._

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Candace remembers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO. I went into more detail about this in the story "Relocation Meta" (also a part of this series, if you're curious and haven't checked that out yet), but I've reconsidered a piece of Perry's characterization. As of now, Perry isn't an uncle figure -- he's more like a much-older brother. He's a handful of years younger, and a whole lot angrier. 
> 
> In the coming weeks, I'll be editing Ends Unspoken to incorporate the changes; I'll let yall know when I'm done. Other than the prologue, the story is going to be 94% the same, so there's no real need to re-read unless you feel like it. I've started editing already, and the changes were a lot smaller than I expected.
> 
> The only thing I might do is make the butterfly oneshot thing not a part of this series, because that is pretty firmly Uncle Perry. Actually that was going to be part of this chapter originally, but then ... well ... it didn't fit. It will be really obvious why in a second.

The doorbell rang, and Candace sprung to her feet and rushed towards the door. Lawrence and Ferb were coming over again today, and she wanted to get there before Mom did and made Lawrence go do boring grown-up stuff!

When Candace flung open the door, Lawrence and Ferb were there, but Perry, the weird guy she'd only seen at Thanksgiving, was there too.

“Why're you here?” Candace demanded. He hadn't seemed friendly at _all_ at Thanksgiving.

Lawrence said, “Oh, ah, Candace, Perry had some time off school today and I wanted him to spend some time with you and your mother and Phineas.”

Candace peered at him suspiciously. “Why?”

“Candace...” Mom said, sounding a little out of breath.

But Perry held up a hand, like he was saying 'stop', and crouched down. He took out a fancy little notebook and started writing, and then held out the notebook to Candace. She took it, holding it gingerly. The paper was way fancier than even her special unicorn school notebooks.

 _Lawrence wants me to get to know you so I can help protect you kids, like a bodyguard._ he'd written.

Candace puzzled it out. “But _I'm_ supposed to protect Phineas, because I'm older.”

Perry nodded. He wrote, "I'm even older, though, so I'll help." He looked a little nervous, even though it was just Mom and Candace and Phineas, and none of them were scary at all.

“Oh. Okay.” Candace considered this. “Do you wanna play Skiddley Whiffers with me n Ducky Momo n Lawrence? You can be on my side,” she said, generously.

Perry smiled again, and gave her a thumbs up. Candace smiled back, and ran to go grab the board.

* * *

  
  


Candace giggled, one hand around Perry's wrist, dragging him slowly towards her destiny. She stopped in front of the sliding screen door and gestured towards the backyard, triumphant. “See! I told you, they made something really scary!”

There it was, the eight-foot-tall freestanding wall that the boys had built on their own, and the huge tubs of paint that Isabella was currently swimming in. Ferb was dangling from ropes, and somehow painting a photorealistic platypus with just his feet. Phineas was sliding down the wall on his belly, laughing.

...And there Perry was, just staring at it, like a mindless animal. “Perry?” Candace asked, nervous. She wanted the boys to stop, but Perry looked really, like, scared or something? She didn't want him to freak out on them.

“ _Is that it?_ ” Perry signed.

Candace gaped. “Is that – Perry it's a giant wall! It's _dangerous!_ They're getting paint all over the backyard and Mom's gonna be so mad when she gets home! You gotta call her right away!”

“ _Candace, it's washable paint,_ ” he signed, pointing at one of the gigantic paint cans, which really did read “WASHABLE” in big letters.

“It's – it's – it's _not_ ,” Candace insisted, putting her hand in one of the buckets of orange to demonstrate. It dripped right off. She scowled, and then said, “Fine, if you won't tell Mom, then I'll just go get her myself!”

Perry's brow creased. “ _You can't just leave. I'm supposed to be babysitting and you're still too young to go off on your own_.”

“I'm eleven!” Perry didn't sign anything, just looked at her like _she_ was the one being ridiculous. “Fine, then come with me!”

“ _I can't leave the boys, Candace,_ ” Perry signed, like he even cared about what they were doing.

“That's not _fair!_ ”

He signed, “ _Life isn't fair_.”

This was the most unfair response of all. Candace was so angry that she could _spit_. “Fine!” she hissed. “I'll show you when Mom gets home!” She stomped up to her room, unable to deal with Perry for even a moment longer, and watched the boys and Isabella paint from her window.

  
  


By the time Mom got home, though, the entire thing had disappeared.

“Thanks for babysitting, Perry. Did you kids have fun today?”

“Yeah, we fingerpainted!” Phineas cheered, holding his hands up to the sky.

“The boys made a huge wall and fingerpainted on it with their whole bodies! _Right_ , Perry?” Candace nailed Perry with her most accusatory stare, sure that this would do it. The evidence may have disappeared, but Perry was an adult and he was supposed to protect Phineas and Ferb like an older brother and he'd _seen_ it. He _had_ to tell Mom.

“ _The kids had fun today,_ ” Perry signed. “ _They did some painting._ ”

Candace turned to gape at him. He kept eating like nothing was wrong, and Candace stabbed at her meatloaf, fuming. So much for 'being on her side'.

  
  


* * *

  
  


They were being flown to their doom by an army of weird freckled robots from another dimension, and, somehow, Candace had bigger concerns.

“Everything makes sense now! You never told Mom that I wasn't lying because you were too afraid of _your_ little secret getting out!”

Perry, who wasn't really part of her family at all but instead just some secret agent using their family as cover, had the nerve to look hurt.

Candace wasn't done. “You said that we could protect Phineas and Ferb together, but that was just a lie, wasn't it? You'd never let me do anything like that other Candace, because what's really important is your _job_.”

All she could hear was wind and Phineas yelling from where he was being held by another robot, farther away. Finally, Perry signed, “ _I'm sorry that I kept secrets from you._ ”

“ _That's all you can say?_ I don't care that you never told me about your stupid little secret agent side gig. I just wanted you to have my back for once.”

Candace turned away from Perry's heartbroken expression and immobile hands. “Whatever, Perry. Just... whatever.”

  
  


Candace awoke from a deep sleep to her door quietly creaking open. Instantly, she was wide awake. A shadowy figure holding some kind of weapon lurched through the doorway, and Candace shrieked and threw a pillow at top velocity.

The intruder chattered, startled, somehow catching the pillow without dropping... was that a tray with pancakes, melon, sausage, and orange juice?

“ _Perry?_ Okay, why exactly are you bringing me breakfast in bed?”

Perry did a one-shoulder shrug and sat the tray down on her lap, dropping the pillow back on the bed at the same time. “ _Just decided to do something nice for my favorite younger sister_ ,” he signed.

Candace eyed him suspiciously. “First of all, I'm not even really your sister, and second of all you've never done anything like this before. Are you trying to butter me up? Are Phineas and Ferb planning something really big and you're covering for them and you want me to not bust them in exchange for breakfast because lemme tell you bucko that's _not_ happening, Candace Flynn cannot be bribed, I am _un-bribe-able_ ,”

“ _I'm not covering for the boys_ ,” Perry signed, sighing. “ _I just woke up early and decided to make you breakfast, Candace, that's all._ ”

“Sure,” Candace said. “Let's _say_ I believe you. That means that you've _never_ woken up early before? Because sometimes I've seen you lounging around in the backyard at, like, 6:30 AM, just saying.”

Perry looked shifty. “ _Didn't feel like cooking those times._ ”

Candace narrowed her eyes, and stuffed a piece of melon into her mouth. She was going to get to the bottom of this. _Mark her words_.

  
  


After to failing to bust her brothers, _again_ , Candace was ready for answers. _Any_ answers. She spotted a hint of teal sneaking back into the backyard, and grinned. _Bingo._

“Perry! There you are!”

Perry looked at her like a deer caught in the headlights. “ _What?_ ” he signed, snappy.

Candace caught up to him in several long strides, and shoved her new camcorder in his face. “Why'd you make me breakfast?”

“ _Candace, it's been a long day. Can we please, for once –_ ”

“Whyyyy did yooooou make me breeeeeaaaaakfast?”

Some terrible battle raged on Perry's face. “ _I can't tell you,_ ” he signed at last, several centuries later.

“What? _What_ can't you tell me?” Candace asked. “C'mon! It's not like you work for a spy agency! Are you dating someone? Are you dating someone I introduced you to? Ooh, was it that toy guy from a while back? We'd all accept you, Perry! You don't have to hide!”

“ _It wasn't the toy guy. I'm not dating anyone._ ”

Candace squinted at him, and then squinted at him through the camcorder. Still just strange, stoic Perry. “'It wasn't the toy guy' is a weird way to say that if you aren't dating anyone, Perry.”

“ _I'm not – Fine. I... yest- a little while ago, you pointed out that I don't let you guys in on what I'm thinking about very often._ ”

Candace frowned. “Really? I don't remember that.”

“ _You said that I never share anything with you because I'm too worried about myself, and I wanted to show you that that isn't true. Even when it doesn't seem like it, I'm always trying to look out for you, Candace. I just wanted to show you that I have your back._ ” Perry looked away. “ _Now drop it. Please._ ”

Now drop it? _Now drop it?_ Candace almost couldn't process how ridiculous that was.

“I'm sorry, but this is even worse than the relationship thing! You really think one breakfast in bed is gonna make up for _this?_ ” Candace gestured vaguely at the backyard, and the imagined hundreds and hundreds of weird devices that had gone missing in or around it. “I know you know about the boys hiding stuff from Mom! The least you could do is say 'she's not lying', like, once a week, but you always just shrug! You never even _try_ and help!”

She threw her hands in the air. “You know what? I don't even care about your boring personal life. It doesn't matter why you never help, because you only care about keeping the boys happy no matter what.” She turned away and stomped towards the door, turning off the camcorder. So much for getting answers from _anyone_ , _ever_.

From the corner of her eye, Candace caught one last sentence. “ _I love you. I'm sorry._ ”

Whatever. He could be sorry all he liked; it didn't change a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perry: is literally a spy  
> also perry: cannot lie to Candace to save his goddamn life


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Candace is determined to get Perry back. Heinz is skeptical. Phineas and Ferb are maybe freaking out.

“ _Perry!_ ”

Phineas looked stricken. Normally when Phineas got this upset, Ferb tried to calm him down. Right now, however, he felt too shell-shocked to even fully register his brother's emotions, let alone soothe them.

“The last thing I said to him was 'Are you even really our family!'” Phineas said.

Ferb thought, in a kind of far-away haze, that technically the last thing Phineas had said was “If you decide you can _trust_ us, let us know”. And then he was remembering Perry on that day again, and remembering a thousand moments that had been wiped from his mind, and really, what was he, if not his mind, and Perry had _gone missing_ and Ferb had not known, not so much as noticed –

“I – Hey, Ferb, are you okay?”

Phineas was staring at Ferb. Eye contact was too much. Ferb looked down and realized Phineas's knuckles were white, because someone was squeezing his hand, because Ferb was – oh –

“I – ” he began to say.

Candace interrupted. “Yeah whatever, have your little breakdown later, how are we going to find him?” She was looking straight at Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Wait, the second dimension; they'd all forgotten about it, but now Ferb remembered that, too.

The current Dr. Doofenshmirtz said, “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on! What was the point of helping us remember if we're not going to go get him back?” Candace said.

“You don't _get_ it. Perry the Platypus has been reassigned, and he left without even saying _goodbye!_ OWCA won't just tell you where he went; they didn't tell _me_ , and _I'm_ an agent! I may only work weekends and summers but it _still counts_. You're never going to find Perry the Platypus because he doesn't _want_ to be found! Drop it!”

Candace glared at him. “Perry doesn't get to leave before I give him a piece of my mind. We'll find him with or without you!”

Ferb took a few deep breaths, and was surprised to find he didn't feel quite so much like sobbing. Candace's endless drive had always inspired him, and now it was anchoring him. There was no question; they would find Perry, it was just a matter of _how_.

“I'm telling you, you _can't_ _!_ OWCA will just erase your memory again if they know you know.”

Past the spike of fear at the thought of forgetting again, Ferb put something together. “ _Agents can know where other agents are assigned, though?_ ”

“ _Yeah_ , in order to work together, or just because, I guess, but – no, I _see_ that scheming look, you kids are _way_ too young to be OWCA agents, including _you,_ pencil-neck! Seriously, it's in the rulebook, I'm pretty sure. And besides, they won't tell you if you're _friends_ , or, uh, family.”

“The rulebook?” Candace had even ignored the pencil-neck comment, which meant she had an idea. Ferb held his breath.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz groaned. “You're _sure_ you don't just want some apple juice?”

“ _Show me this rulebook_ ,” Candace demanded.

“Too bad I forgot the reverse button on the Remember-Inator,” Dr. Doofenshmirtz muttered, stalking over to a bookshelf.

Ferb felt like cheering. They were going to get Perry back. It was only a matter of time.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The second he handed giraffe girl the book, she dived into it, laughing to herself in a way that was at _least_ a four on the P.A.S.T.E.L. Cackle scale. It looked like she was going to be a while.

The other two kids just stood there, looking around the lab. And, sure, maybe it was a _bit_ of a mess, but they didn't have to look so _sad_ about it.

“Alright, that's enough standing around, c'mon,” Heinz said, shooing them into the kitchen. He grabbed a couple of juice boxes while he was at it. _Might as well_ , right? It wasn't like _Norm_ was gonna drink them.

The kids stared at the boxes. Man, they'd seemed _way_ cheerier before they remembered.

“So, uh, Perry, huh. I don't really see the family _resemblance_ ,” Heinz said, trying to lighten the mood. “He's got _teal_ hair, you've got _orange_ and _green_ – ”

The green haired kid looked at him expressionlessly, and Heinz squirmed. His blank stare was worse than _Vanessa's._ “Whaaaaat? It's true!”

“How do _you_ know Perry, Dr. D?” said the other one with the weird triangle head.

“Uh,” Heinz's mind raced. How did you explain 'he punched me in the face every day for a year, but also he helped me set up a birthday party for my daughter, and stayed with me and watched soap operas and drank tea even when we were nemeses, and helped train me to be a secret agent, and whenever I needed him he was there, until – '

Ah, _Schnitzel,_ that was starting to sound like a _backstory_ and Heinz couldn't go all _evil-backstory_ on two elementary graders. He was supposed to be _reformed_ now.

“Weeeee know each other from... work. We were _nemesises_ for most of that, but still – wait, _nemeses?_ I think that's correct but for some reason it sounds _weird_ in this context. What was I talking about? Oh, right, Perry the Platypus and I have been – we worked together for about two years.”

Triangle-head said, “You knew him for _two years?_ ”

Oh. Oh, no. He looked like he was about to cry. Awkwardly, Heinz reached out and patted his shoulder.

This was apparently the wrong move. Triangle kid said, “He had to be secretive, and he saved Ferb, and instead of thanking him I yelled at him and made him leave his _best friend_ ,”

“Woah, hey,” Heinz said, patting the kid’s shoulder faster. His eyes darted to the other kid, and then their sister, but giraffe girl was now at a 6.5 on the P.A.S.T.E.L. Cackle Scale and the green one looked like a marble statue. _Scheiße,_ what was he supposed to do here? Heinz tried to remember if Vanessa had ever cried like this. He'd raised a kid, surely he could handle one crying child!

“ -- and now he's never gonna want to talk to us again even if Candace finds him!” Triangle-head wailed.

Aaaaand maybe he _couldn't_ handle one crying child. But he had to say _something_.

“Perry the Platypus didn’t really talk about you kids much,” he started. The kid's breath hitched and Heinz backpedaled frantically. “But that was because he couldn’t! E-every time I, uh, accidentally interrupted something important, I could see how much he wanted to be home with you kids. He, he spent every spare minute with you.”

Triangle-head was still crying but his breathing had evened out a little, and Heinz kept going, trying not to think too hard about what he was saying.

“Perry the Platypus doesn't really, he doesn't really _talk much._ Not, not like the – the not _saying words out loud thing_ , like he doesn't _communicate_. It took me two years to even learn his last name, or his full first name, for that matter. He didn't tell me he wasn't from the US for _three months!_ Perry doesn't talk much, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you – you kids.”

“I guess,” Triangle-head mumbled. He didn't look very cheerful. But it would have to be enough, because that was about all Heinz _had_ right now. And it looked like maybe he wasn't crying as much? None of that 'figuring out what other people were feeling' had ever made any sense to Heinz, except maybe when it came to Perry the Platypus.

Oh, _Schnitzel_ , now he was sad about Perry the Platypus, too. Stupid kids, infecting him with their _feelings_. The second they left he was going to polish off the rest of that frozen yogurt container.

“We're going to get him back, Phineas,” The green one said quietly.

'Phineas', really? Wow, and Heinz had thought 'Doofenshmirtz' was bad.

“Okay,” Phineas said. He caught his breath. “Okay. Candace is trying to find a way to make sure OWCA lets us remember, right? But we'll still need to track him down. Dr. D, do you have any more spare parts?”

* * *

  
  


After the first thirty minutes, he'd given up on trying to hide the screwdrivers and started helping build the Perry-the-Platypus-Tracker-Inator. Phineas and Ferb were fun to work with, even if they refused to let him install a self-destruct button.

It almost let him forget that everyone left eventually, no matter what he did.

But whatever. Heinz made another bid to return to his frozen yogurt. “It's getting kind of _late_. You three should be getting _home_ soon.”

“No, not yet! I'm not done yet!” Candace shouted from the apartment.

He yelled back, “Ten more minutes, young lady, and then I'm sending you home whether you like it or not!”

There was the sound of paper rustling, like someone madly flipping through a very detailed rulebook. “Okay fine!”

Heinz breathed a sigh of relief. He liked kids, really, but this was _a lot._ Phineas had been wiping away tears all afternoon.

Thirty-three seconds before the deadline was up, Candace charged into the lab, clutching a fistful of loose notebook paper. She was beaming. “I've got it! Just let me at whoever's in charge around here and they'll _have_ to let us keep Perry.”

It was stupid. It was more stupidly obvious than any trap he'd ever designed. It was one teenage girl and her two kid brothers against the collective might of the entire Organization Without a Cool Acronym. But maybe he was just too much of a moron to learn from the past. Maybe these kids really _could_ bring Perry the Platypus back.

Instead of any of that, Heinz said, “As much as I'd love to see you ruin Francis's _evening_ , you three need to go _home_. Look, it's nearly five o'clock already!”

“Oh no,” Phineas said. “Candace, Ferb, _Mom and Dad still don't know!_ ”

Heinz sighed. “Tomorrow! I'll bring the device over _tomorrow_.”

Phineas peered over the side of the building. “You've got a clear shot at our house from here. Maybe we could just shoot it from the balcony? It's a pretty big device to take down the stairs.”

“Wellllll, I _do_ have a flying robot,” Heinz said.

Candace started panicking, which was a little harsh. She didn't even _know_ Norm. “NO,” she said. “No, we have to do it now before the Mysterious Force gets it; here lemme aim that thing – ”

“Yeah, _no_ ,” Heinz said, pulling her away from the machine by her shirt collar. “You kids might be surprisingly good with machinery, but you can't just shoot random beams willy-nilly wherever you want! That's how you vaporize an entire cheese-themed amusement park or something!”

Candace glared at him. “Do it or I'll elbow you in the gut and then do it myself,” she threatened.

“Huh. I see the _family resemblance_ now. _Fine_ , if it gets you kids out of my hair. What's the address again?”

“2308 Maple Drive.”

“That _is_ a weirdly clear shot. Alright, three, two, one – ”

* * *

  
  


In an airy kitchen in a yellow house on Maple Drive, a casserole pan shattered on the floor.

“Lawrence,” Linda gasped. “Lawrence, _where's Perry?_ ”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late! I had to edit this chapter a bit because I rethought Heinz's characterization. I think he's still kind of OOC, actually; it's hard for me to get into his head. I might come back to this chapter later to fix that, but for now, it is what it is.
> 
> Thank yall for sticking with this through all my nonsense. You're seeing a lot more of my messy, messy process than I originally planned, and it means so much to me that people are reading and enjoying anyway! In a lot of ways this feels like a first fic, and I'm not sure I would've gotten so far without support. 
> 
> Next chapter is Chapter Five, which i've been looking forward to posting since the instant I realized I was actually gonna do it. I don't want to spoil anything but. _chapter five_. Get hyped yall it's gonna be fun !


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Flynn-Fletcher family has a conversation that's been a long time coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! i'm a day early, but i'll be busy tomorrow and besides i'm _really_ excited about this one (and also, last week i was a day late, so it evens out, right?). i don't have anything in particular to say but hope yall enjoy!

“Do you think they'll remember?” Phineas asked, two minutes into a quiet car ride.

Candace clenched the wheel, all of her rock-solid determination suddenly wobbly. Oh no. They were going to show Mom something, and this wasn't like Phineas and Ferb's stupid little inventions, this was _important._ If the Mysterious Force interfered this time –

“The machine worked on us.” Ferb said. “Don't worry so much.”

Candace's fingers relaxed a micrometer on the steering wheel. Maybe if even her crazy, stupid-lucky younger brothers thought everything was going to be okay, they really would.

The second the car pulled into the garage, Phineas and Ferb bolted out of the doors to go cling to Mom and Dad. “Kids! Are you alright?” Dad said.  
“We're okay,” Phineas said, muffled. His face was buried in Dad's chest. 

Candace grabbed the folder and looked over it anxiously before she left the driver's seat. Nothing had gone missing yet, _thank god_.

Dad was lifting Phineas and Ferb in one arm each, which left Mom to wrap Candace up in a hug the second she climbed out of the car. “C'mon. Let's talk about this over pie,” she said, ushering them into the kitchen.

* * *

  
  


Mom was only one slice in when she dropped the pie plate, looking like she'd gotten hit by lightning. Candace looked around the room, but if the boys had invented some weird lightning machine, they'd made it invisible, too.

“Oooooh my – what _was_ that thing?”

“What thing, darling?” Dad said.

Mom gesticulated with the pie-cutting-thing. “The – like, a giant top, but you push it down and then it flies up – you kids were _in_ one a-and I kept forgetting,”

“Oh, our giant spring thingamabob? We never did figure out what those are called! But that was a pretty fun day. Maybe we should make something like those again sometime!” Phineas said.

“You _made_ that thing?”

“Well, yeah?” Phineas sounded as cheerful as ever, if a little confused.

Meanwhile, Candace felt like she'd gotten front row tickets for her eight favorite bands, all on the same day. Was this actually happening? Out of nowhere, were her brothers _finally_ getting busted?

“You _made_ that thing.” Mom repeated. “You _made that thing?!_ ”

“...yes?”

“Isabella and Baljeet and Buford helped,” Ferb added.

“Oh... oh my god. This means Candace was telling the truth this entire time. S...so the rollercoaster,”

Candace could not stop smiling. Okay, so it was dumb that she hadn't even gotten to show Mom anything, and it was totally unfair that this was happening the one time Candace was busy with something that might be even more important than busting, but oh my god, it was happening, it was _finally happening!_ “Yep. Both times!”

“And – and the building to the moon? The time machine? The... did the _boys_ put together that Love Händel concert?”

“Yes, yes, and _yes_ ,” Candace said, grinning from ear to ear.

“They… they climbed the Eiffel Tower. And painted a continent. And found a dodo bird?”

“It _is_ in the theme song,” Ferb said.

“Oh my god. Did you actually go to space without supervision?”

“Uh, well, yeah,” Phineas said. “A couple of times, actually. I really thought you knew about all this? We usually asked for permission.”

“Linda – ” Dad said, looking kind of helpless.

“Nope! No, nope, we're not done with this conversation, Lawrence!” Mom said. “So the nanobots – ” Mid-sentence, Mom interrupted herself and turned on Dad. “Wait a second, are you telling me you knew about this the _whole time_ _?_ ”

“W-well, I thought perhaps you weren't aware of the _extent_ of it, but really, there never seemed any harm in it, darling – ”

“ _Never any harm in it?_ Lawrence, they built a _time machine!_ ”

“Actually, we just repaired the – ”

“NOT. THE. _POINT._ ”

Phineas flinched, and Candace was beginning to feel a little weird. This was what she'd wanted since practically the day the boys met, but Mom didn't have to be so _mean_ about it, did she?

“Mom, I am loving this recital of how I was totally right forever and all of you should grovel at my feet, but Perry is still missing. Can't we ground the boys for life later?” Candace said.

“Candace, honey, Perry is an adult. He can take care of himself for a few days. Your brothers, on the other hand, are _children_ , messing with incredibly dangerous machinery _without supervision!_ ”

“We didn't know!” Phineas said helplessly. “Candace was always telling you about it, and we did too, loads of times! Did you think we were making it up every time?”

Mom buried her face in her hands, dropping the pie cutter on the counter. “Yes. Yes I did.”

“Oh.” Phineas seemed bewildered. “But – you seriously never knew about any of it? We did stuff almost every day last summer!”

“Do none of you see that an untested rollercoaster built by a couple of ten year olds might, potentially, be a little DANGEROUS?” Mom yelled. Which was completely unfair. Candace had, _obviously_ , and then Mom hadn't even listened. Even in her moment of greatest triumph Candace never got any credit. _Typical_.

“It did crash into that tree,” Phineas admitted, and then backpedaled when he saw Mom's face, “But we were fine! We're always fine. I mean, look at us! No scars whatsoever!”

“Just because by some _miracle_ nothing has happened yet doesn't mean nothing will ever happen! And when you're working with giant spring-top-things, it really only has to go wrong _once!_ ”

“Mother – ” Ferb said.

“No! Nope! You boys are _not_ worming your way out of this one. Your father and I are going to have to have a _long_ talk about what to do next. Candace, you're in charge. Boys, _don't_ build anything.”

“Oh, okay,” Phineas said. “I don't think we were going to anyway? But we won't.”

Mom was already halfway to the basement, Dad's shirt clenched in her fist.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Was it really bad to make our inventions? Everyone always has so much fun,” Phineas said, poking morosely at his pie.

“It wouldn’t be fun if they _died_ ,” Candace said, kind of wishing she had pie, too. They were all just standing around the kitchen like it was dinner time, but the empty seats and the abandoned pie cutter loomed.

Ferb scoffed.

Phineas nodded. “Ferb’s right! No one would have _died_ … right?”

“I -- ” Candace faltered.

Part of her wanted to say, ‘ _Yes,_ ’ but the truth was, in the years her brothers had been building things, they’d barely ever gotten so much as a scratch. It was _Phineas and Ferb_. The thought of their inventions causing lasting damage (or even just _lasting_ , period) didn’t really compute.

Candace forged ahead anyway. “How should I know? Mom’s right, it would only take one time! And you’re always dragging in your little friends and half of Danville, too, and no one ever listens to me about how dangerous it is! What if you hurt Isabella, huh, Phineas?”

“That’s not fair,” Ferb said, his voice low and dangerous.

“Yeah! We wouldn’t hurt Isabella! And we _always_ listen to you, Candace!” Phineas looked really upset, half sad, half angry.

Candace glared. “No one ever listens to me. How many times have I asked you to stay put?”

“I don’t know,” Phineas said. “A couple, maybe? But that’s different! We never _try_ and go anywhere -- wait, is this about you always trying to show Mom our stuff?”

“ _We never meant to hide it,_ ” Ferb signed, like he did sometimes when he was feeling too much. He looked almost the same as always, but there was misery in his tight shoulders and drawn eyebrows.

Candace scoffed and looked away. She didn’t want to see them acting pathetic when it was all their fault to begin with. “ _Sure_ you didn’t.”

“We didn’t even know,” Phineas pleaded. “C’mon, Candace, you gotta believe us!”

Candace snarled, “ _Why?_ No one ever believed _me!_ ”

Her brothers both took a step a backward. Even Ferb looked visibly shocked this time.

Candace glared at them. “Oh, don’t look so -- ”

Then, all of a sudden, two little bodies ran into her hard. For a second Candace almost shoved them back, but they were -- they were hugging her?

“I’m sorry,” Phineas said. Ferb nodded into her shirt. “We were just trying to have an awesome summer vacation. It seemed like you had fun whenever you tagged along, and Perry always, and we didn’t mean to -- ” he cut himself off with a sob, and Candace couldn’t help but put her arms around them, too, her anger dissipating. For everything they did, her little brothers were so _little_ , still.

“It's okay,” she said. And weirdly, it maybe kind of was.

A few seconds later, Candace heard boots thudding on the stairs. Phineas and Ferb stopped hugging her but they were both still holding her hands as Mom and Dad mounted the top step.

Dad’s expression was blank. “Your mother and I talked about it, and for the time being, we’ve decided that you boys will be grounded for a month. No inventing, no seeing your friends.”

The boys just nodded. Phineas, clinging tightly to Candace, said, “Do you think we really could’ve hurt someone?” His voice was smaller than Candace had ever heard it.

Mom pursed her lips. “Yes, Phineas, you children making a rollercoaster or a time machine could hurt someone.”

“No!”

The conversation screeched to a halt. “Candace?” Phineas said, looking shell-shocked.

Candace was a little shell-shocked herself. But no one was allowed to make Phineas and Ferb look that small, not even Mom.

“Mom, you haven’t seen the boy’s inventions, not _really_. The truth is, they always make sure they’re safe. They have a ton of safety precautions, and always log their permits with the city and everything. I don’t think anyone has _ever_ gotten more than a scraped knee or a knocked out tooth, and they’ve been doing this for years! I-if anyone should be in trouble, it’s _me_ , for not protecting the boys well enough.”

“Oh, Candace, honey,” Mom said, and scooped her up in a hug.

Candace shrugged out of it. “No! I – I want you to punish the boys, but not like _this_. Come on, Perry's still missing! Do you even _care_ about him?”

“Candace, of _course_ we c-”

Candace wasn’t ready to be stopped yet. “You’re not listening, like always! You don’t even know what they do and you’re trying to pretend that you know what it’s like and like you know what’s best even though you didn’t even know they were doing it until five minutes ago!”

“Candace!” Dad exclaimed, and pulled her into another hug, and this time Candace let herself be pulled, too frustrated to fight it.

“Sweetie, we love you. Phineas, Ferb, we love you, too, okay? We love all of you kids so, so much,” Mom said. Now even _Mom_ sounded upset, but more like crying-upset than angry-upset.

Candace was glad her face was buried in Dad’s shoulder, so she didn’t have to look at her. Feeling miserable and angry, she nodded.

“That’s _why_ we were so worried. When I found out that all those things you’ve tried so hard to show me were real, all I could think about were all the times we could have lost you. We’re not trying to punish anyone, we just want to know all you kids are _safe_.”

Mom continued, “Candace, I'm sorry I never believed you. Thank you for trying to tell me. That must have been really, really difficult, and I'm proud of you for trying so hard to protect the boys.”

Candace wasn’t crying, there were just some stupid wild parsnips on Dad’s sweater, or something.

“Boys, I want to hear more about all the cool stuff you’ve made, okay? We’re still grounding you for a month, but after that, you can keep inventing, you just need to find an adult to supervise, and approve any plans beforehand with your dad and I.”

Ferb nodded solemnly, and then Mom was hugging Phineas and Ferb and then Dad said “Oh c’mere” and they all sat down on the kitchen floor and hugged and Candace was probably too old for this, but just this once, maybe that was okay.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I keep forgetting to link the playlist, but I made a playlist for this!  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3CjFFjBPBcsw5TM6BGazMD?si=Py6KavrqS-G_0-zatft7Uw 
> 
> <3 thanks again to everyone on discord supporting this idea, esp gohn for troubleshooting title and hal for letting me ramble about reveals and what this family means to each other. Love yall!


End file.
